In The Heat of the Struggle | Barbara Alexander

What do you do when you feel a struggle building and you have no idea how to fix it?

Many of us have tried so hard to keep the peace in our lives that we have ended up without healthy boundaries – even to the point of exhaustion.

Here is the critical question you can ask yourself: Are you giving so much of yourself that you find your life energy draining from you more and more each day? Well join the club, this is the reason so many people leave their jobs and even their marriages.

Many people would rather avoid confrontation at all costs while others love the battle of wit, but both sides end up loosing in this arena.

What if you considered there may be another solution? What if you changed your energy and the way you do what you do when presented with struggles?

We can’t get everyone, (make that “anyone”), to behave the way we want them to, that will never happen. We don’t even want that to happen.

Sometimes we think that the way others behave is the key to making us happy, but it isn’t. The only thing that makes us happy is what we are thinking and the way we are thinking about it.

What if I told you that there is a way to shift the way we think about things, so that you can support yourself in the process?

One of the first things you can do is step away from the battle, not acquiesce, but find the place to feel your balance again and get clear on what you truly want.

The next step may be a stretch, but I promise you it works. Write down all the things you like about that person and what your heart’s desire is in relationship to them.

We are not all alike and we are going to have differences based on where we all are in our lives, but one thing is for sure, your own vibration goes down the drain when you focus on everything that’s wrong. You will find yourself much further ahead if you can appreciate each person and their differences – because it is through these differences that we learn more about ourselves.

When you focus on someone, you are amplifying the things your are focusing on. If you are able to focus on the other’s strengths, you are amplifying those. Likewise if you focus on what’s wrong!

So, if you are avoiding dealing with someone in order to keep the peace, try a new tact.

Get away for enough time to let the energy settle down and you are able to find the space to rebalance. Second, focus on the things that you appreciate about that person and finally get clear on what it is that you really want.. and here is the key, it must be without any attachment to what they think or feel.

Sometimes people believe that their happiness depends on what others think of them, but that isn’t true. Your happiness depends on what YOU are thinking, and ONLY you have control of that.

Your job is to take care of you and your happiness will affect everyone around you.