“It is very difficult to understand what anybody else’s experience is. There aren’t enough words to really understand what anybody else is living. Physical beings want things to be the same. They want people to think the same. You work rather hard at sameness, but you will never win that battle because, from Nonphysical, diversity is known to be the most beneficial part of the game.”
As I read this, I unconsciously let out a big sigh. This is such a huge lesson for me and it comes up in so many different ways.
Dana came to Epona Ridge a few months ago. She wanted to understand how to help her relationship with others, both at work and at home.
“How can I get them to do what I want them to do?” she asked. “If they just understood, they would agree. What do I need to know or do to get them to change?” She held her questions in her heart as she walked into the arena to have a time of personal reflection.
From what she had shared before her experience, it seemed reasonable to her that she was asking to be respected and appreciated by specific people in her life, and to her, that meant that they would agree with her.
Her personal self-talk was defeating her efforts. She was convinced that she needed to figure out how to explain why she was right and they were… wrong. Her core belief was that they needed to understand her perspective and that they would then choose to change their behav-ior.
She walked into the arena, but Zorro walked away. He headed over to the corner to occupy himself with his salt block. Dana approached again and got his attention, beckoning him away from the salt. What happened next was something Dana had experienced with so many people in her life.
Zorro approached Dana. As he got closer, she could feel his focus on her and in his masterful way of reflecting, he began to respond to her specific journey.
His energy was forward, pestering her and picking at her clothes and her feet. Dana’s eyes filled with surprise but she wasn’t afraid. She kept reaching for his face to pet him, trying to find a more comfortable connection. Each time she did the same thing, and each time he turned away. She finally stopped and opened to the lesson he had for her.
Dana told him to stop nibbling at her in a way that she felt would be respected, but it made Zorro walk away. This left Dana with that uncomfortable feeling that the connection had been broken, again. This was a powerful lesson, because it was exactly what she had felt at home and work.
Is this what she was doing to her co-workers and loved ones? Was she so in-their-faces that they couldn’t hear her without putting defenses up, thereby leaving her feeling alone and un-heard?
Somewhere in the middle there was a solution, and Dana began to play with that energy.
She craved the feeling of being in sync, which in this case included Zorro doing what she want-ed, but she was not going to get it with the energy she was presenting.
Fully in the moment, Dana found she was focused on herself, her beliefs and her personal at-tachment to what she wanted. She did this without the awareness of the other or their beliefs or needs in the moment.
She wanted them to think the same way she did, so they would do what she knew was right. In having that belief system she omitted the possibilities of her own personal expansion.
When we think we have the only way, we cut ourselves off from the heart connection we so crave.
Allowing the space for connection through the mindset of being open to the gifts of diversity, we find ourselves able to connect in ways that are deeper and more fulfilling than we ever imagined. Through the personal stretch that these gifts offer us, we are able to find more in the life we came here to live.